Nov 12 2003
They're Back!!
Oh yes true believer, Doug (pictured right) and Jackie Christie are back! And they are writing a book on relationships! You just can't make this stuff up!
First a little background for those of you that have no idea who I am talking about. Doug Christie currently starts at shooting guard for the Sacramento Kings. His wife is Jackie and to say they have a strange marriage/relationship is putting it lightly. Let's just say Jackie wears the pants in the family. Some other facts:
- Jackie Christie does not allow Doug to interact with any other females. At all.
- The Christies renew their wedding vows every year in full regalia, with a ceremony and cake. They've done it for nine consecutive summers
- Jackie Christie is the only wife of a Kings player -- and perhaps the only one in the league -- who regularly travels with the team via the team charter.
- Doug has special "hand signals" he flashes Jackie throughout each game that translate into "I love you" to let her know he is thinking about her. He does this multiple (over 20) times a game.
- Jackie sends a note to Doug before each game via a club attendant. Doug reads the note and responds to it.
- They have matching tattoos that read: "Infinite love."
Now all of this may not seem too wacky but did you know that a publicist for the Kings was fired last year after Jackie observed her passing a phone message to Doug? I first wrote about this back in July. The suit, filed May 27 in Sacramento Superior Court, alleges that "Doug Christie is notorious for refusing even basic contact with all women, except with his wife, Jackie. Jackie Christie is likewise notorious for policing her husband's contacts with women."
Quoth Doug: "If you could feel as good as I feel to be whipped, you'd be whipped, too."
Ummm...no I wouldn't.
From the article linked above: (Doug) Christie said he has no reason to look at other women, in hardly any fashion, and his wife is plenty pleased to hear that. He said that it's not about taking orders from his wife, it's "about respect."
I will let the mighty Sports Guy explain further, in particluar why he has traded in the term pussywhipped for the phrase wearing the Doug Christie jersey(see first reader question):
When Christie played for the Raptors, his wife once confronted a female fan seeking an autograph and a kiss in Toronto. 'A security guard grabbed her, but I put my hand up and told her to back off really loud,' she said. 'It scared me, because my voice sounded like a demon ... she was touching someone she shouldn't have been.'"
He continues....
If you were granted an alternate TV wish, wouldn't it be for an "Osbournes"-style reality-TV show called "The Christies"? Just Doug getting harassed by his wife in episodes entitled "I wasn't looking at her!" and "I told you, that was Peja's fiancee!"
From this point forward, doesn't Christie's replica Kings jersey immediately become the best possible way for a group of guys to humiliate one of their emasculated buddies? Let's say you have that one friend who's spending a little too much time with a new girlfriend, and it seems like she's wearing the pants in the family, to the point that your buddy has been blowing you off. BOOM! Everyone chips in five bucks, you purchase the Christie jersey, and you mail it anonymously to him.
Now who here doesn't love sports!?!
NOTES OF INTEREST FROM THE INTERWEB:
- Oh. My. God. Drooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrool. PS - Thanks to Glamorama for all the Oasis goodies up at his site right now.
- Beyonce: "I can't find clothes that fit my bum"
- The Beautiful Occupation (the tune I wrote about a few days ago) will be Travis' new single.
- Oh. My. God.-Part 2. Talks underway to give Wolverine his own movie after X-Men 3.
- Vin Baker hit a 12 foot jumper with 20 seconds left to give the C's a big W over the Pacers last night. Listen to cry-baby Jermaine O'Neal: "The fouls they called on me are unbelievable. Do I need to make five or six more All Star games, win an Olympic gold, continue to make All-NBA teams for me to get some respect in the paint? These refs are taking away my aggressiveness in the post." Perhaps everyone should take a look at the picture accompanying that link. It shows Vin launching the winning shot over Mr. O'Neal. Perhaps if he played better D on that possession and didn't miss a shot from 6 feet out with 3 seconds left his team would have won. Way to take responsibility JO. Punk. Now take a look at what Paul Pierce said after his team's tough loss to the Nets last Friday night, "I really haven't played up to my standards over these last five games. I've been turning the ball over way too much (5.8 per game) and I'm really taking my team's chances of winning away each and every night. My decision-making is just not where it should be. I've got to do a better job of that.'' Now you know why he is my favorite player in the NBA. Respect to you, PP.
- I hate it when that happens.
- The 10 most overpaid jobs in the USA.
- The Matrix: Reloaded in plain english.
Cheers all.
The sanest days are mad. Why don't you find out for yourself. Then you'll see the price very closely.
Posted by Kyle in Permalink
Comments
That book is gonna flop.
Posted by: Coolfer at November 12, 2003 1:30 PM
Just like Vlade.
Posted by: information leafblower at November 12, 2003 2:01 PM
Exactly.
Posted by: Coolfer at November 12, 2003 3:03 PM
What a pussbag!
Posted by: Uncle Grambo at November 12, 2003 3:44 PM
I hear that some of Christie's teammates signal his wife mocking him.
Oh, and hears some info abot TMQB:
http://www.sportsfilter.com/comments.cfm/2396
Excellent website by the way.
Posted by: Jason at November 12, 2003 4:58 PM
It would be ridiculous to say look what the world has come to because by now most of us know that monogamy and marital vows are not a serious matter. The high rate of divorce proves that. I must say that I wish that I had the guts and spirit that the Christies have when I was married.
With aids so prevelant in this society I wish that more people could be like the Christies.
What am I missing here? Sure theres might be a marriage that doesn't sound like the garden variety type. Think Frank & Kahtie Lee Gifford, Kobe & Vanessa Bryant, Tommy & Pamela Lee. These media "marrieds" as do so many others pervade the media with their over the top professions of love and devotion when in reality it's nothing more than an unfulfilled desire. The same goes for those who are not of the celebrity type. My guess is that they'd rather have at least some of what the Christies seem to truly have but just don't put in the time and effort that it obviously takes to make it happen.
I look forward to their book being published. All that I can think about the negative reaction to the way they choose to make their marriage succeed is "go them" They get a book out of the deal.
Posted by: dee michel at December 28, 2003 6:12 PM
