Tuesday Afternoon Sure Shots

December 9, 2003 | |

Just back from the laundromat and I have wet clothes to not wrinkle so check out this shizzle:
- Jiri Welsch, take a bow. A career high 19 points Sunday night in a Celtics win at Denver and even more solid play last night as the C's went to Utah and crushed the Jazz. Still, all is not well with the most storied franchise in pro basketball history, Vin Baker is sick, Marcus Banks was benched due to mouthing off to Coach O'Brien and Raef Lafrentz's right knee is causing him some problems. So much so that the C's are thinking long and hard about shutting him down for the year. So Durst! One good thing to come of this would be more playing time for Jumaine Jones and a roster spot for one of the two rookies that Boston has parked on the IL right now. Seattle travels to Boston tomorrow nizz.
- Morrissey turns down guest spot on the Simpsons, presumably because HE IS HARD AT WORK ON A NEW ALBUM. Still, how best would that have been?
- The 9th Rule of Fight Club is that there will be a video game of Fight Club.
- Catchdubs made me laugh out loud today. Nice one.
- What to do if you are caught in a 5 hour, snow induced traffic jam.
- My favorite movie reviewer, Neill Cumpston, returns with his ass kicking review of HOBBIT MAN: THE KING RETURNS. This is literally the funniest thing I have read in ages. To wit:

Even this summer, with MATRIX: SUDDENLY GAY and TERMINATOR: I LOVE COCK, the Rule of the Suck-y Third Movie got re-proven.

But guess what? One movie series turned that rule on its head. One 3-movie series said, “Wait a minute, we’re going to make the 3rd movie SO tits it will make the FIRST two movies look gay.”

Oh, and also that I Don’t Want to be the King/I Am Destined to Be the King Dude is with them, and he has this whole other story where he pretty much decides to be the King because, I mean, pussy for miles.

Meanwhile, Rudy and Fredo and Golem are getting closer to the volcano, and Golem makes Fredo hate Rudy, and then tricks Fredo into a cave where there’s a giant spider and FUCK that was really scary because even in real life giant spiders are bad news.

Someone told me that all of the spider stuff actually happens in the second book in the series, and that they had to tweak some of the stuff that happens in the books to make the movies work. You know what? Good. Books suck. They used to be good back when people didn’t have movies and TV and dressed like Davey Crockett. People also used to ride horses and drink tea, but now we have cars and Sprite. Move the fuck on.

It goes on from there and has some MAJOR SPOILERS so if you want to be surprised, wait and read it after you've seen the movie.

Cheers all.
I've never been too good with names but I remember faces.