So Much Buzz

There is so much buzz today that I'll have to run it down bullet stizz:

- Lonely? How about an imaginary girlfriend as opposed to a real one? Less hassle you know.

- As if seeing the Knicks play didn't cost enough, Gov. Pataki wants to include an additional tax on tickets to sporting events to help pay for wireless telephone emergency service programs and other homeland security initiatives. The city and state already have an 8.625 percent surcharge on all tickets and we haven't even gotten to the TicketBastard charges yet. Just wait until they raise it again to pay for that stadium on Flatbush and Atlantic.

- Mo' Money, Mo' Problems. Wardel Fenderson, P Diddy's former limo driver is suing him for a cool $3 million because has been suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and has been in constant fear for his life ever since he helped Jennifer Lopez and Sean Combs flee a shooting at Club New York on Dec. 27, 1999. Yeah buddy, a million dollar lawsuit should make you feel real safe now. A friend hooked Fenderson up with the job but he warned him that Puffy was "very arrogant, very demanding, has a very, very hot temper and some acquaintances of a bad nature." Really? Are we talking about the same P Diddy here?

- Howard Dean changes campaign managers. His new one worked for Al Gore. How'd that work out for him?

- Stop the presses! Former CIA weapons inspector David Kay admitted to Congress yesterday that Iraq almost certainly did not have weapons of mass destruction before the war.

- "Good evening Mr. Jacko, would you like the Jesus Juice or the Jesus Blood to go with your meal tonight?"

- An Oregon hotel worker came forward yesterday and announced that she had a consensual sexual encounter with Kobe Bryant that stopped just short of sex in April of 2003. Strangely this will neither help or hurt the prosecution as the woman described Bryant as "a perfect gentleman" when she said no to intercourse. I wonder how big of a ring Vanessa is getting for this?

- Homer Simpson to star in a Superbowl ad for Mastercard. The ad highlights a typical day for Homer, who runs some errands so he'll be able to spend more time with Marge and the kids. Homer's first stop is the Kwik-E-Mart, where he grabs a six-pack of Duff, a hot dog, potato chips and some doughnuts as the voiceover intones "Diapers, milk and laundry detergent . . . $25" ("Oh yeah, and the stuff he said," Homer responds).

- This is fucked up. For real. I have actually met and hung out with the myth and legend that is TMFTML and while being an all around cool person, was very serious in keeping his/her identity a secret. This is something I fully respect and I wish TMFTML the best.

- Foxy Jess has been at the top of her game lately over at The Blueprint. Respect.
**Update** Can I call it or what? Foxy J got the mention over at E! online regarding her Bill Murray piece. Awesome!! Way to go Jess!! Don't forget the small (unemployed) people on your way to the top. [link from the ubiquitous Whatevs]**UPDATE**

- Andre Agassi had his 26 game winning streak at the Australian Open snapped in the this year's semi finals by Marat Safin.

- Lost cause Eddie Girffin is heading back to rehab because he can't keep his willy in his pants. He is taking an indefinite leave from the team just three weeks after signing with the New Jersey Nets. The media's been saying "he's playing tomorrow" for the last week. Yeah right.
Four days ago police responded to calls from alarmed guests at a Rutherford, N.J. hotel concerning Griffin going to the wrong room looking for a girl he had just met. He was invited by a girl up to a party in the hotel," said Sgt. Patrick Feliciano of the Rutherford Police Department's Detective Bureau."Somehow, he went to the wrong room, was knocking on the door and frightened the guest who called police. The person didn't know who he was."Officers responded but there was no arrest made, Feliciano said.
Griffin, 21, has a long history of emotional and legal issues. Nine days ago, he was convicted of a misdemeanor marijuana-possession charge in Houston. He still faces a felony assault charge that will be heard Feb. 13, when sentencing on the pot rap also is set. Yet somehow, the Nets were applauded for signing this guy to a one year contract worth $371,000, but the Celtics were idiots to trade for Ricky Davis, who has never had an off court issue in his entire NBA career. Idiots!!

- Don't even front. You bitches got lucky last night. Why do the refs love that punk ass bitch Rip Hamilton so much? If he chips a nail, they call a foul. Rip Hamilton is the new Reggie Miller. And by that, I mean NO BUZZ.
The C's were on the wrong end of many a questionable call (at home no less!!) last night but special props go out to Big Ben Wallace for his 4 straight free throws down the stretch to seal it for the Pistons. Respect to BB. I will take solace in the fact that the C's scored 103 points on one of the best defensive teams in the NBA and actually outrebounded their opponents.
New coach John Carroll was doing all sorts of crazy things on the court, like running screens to get his jump shooters open and having people cut to the basket for lay ups. Crazy I tell you! He even went out on a limb and played our two best low post players, Chris Mihm and Mark Blount, AT THE SAME TIME, so we could hang with Detroit's big boys on the glass. Mihm ended up fouling out, but had 16 points and 9 boards while Blount added 12 and 9. Some people may not like where we are heading, but I feel the future is very bright.

Last night while watching the Kings v. Rockets tilt, Coolfer and I decided that Turn You Inside Out was the grestest REM song ever. Thoughts? I further submit New Adventures In Hi-Fi as their most under-rated album.

Nothing could be bring me closer
Nothing could be bring me near
Where is the road I follow? / to leave, leave