Do you want to know the dark truth...
or do you want to see me whack some dingers?

May 7 2004

The Morning After

Yes, I know it's the afternoon, but I just got up so bear with me. Can you say "hangover"? Literally and figuratively. My head fells like it's gonna explode at any second so bear with me a minute. *swallows 4 aspirin and drinks a bottle of Gatorade**

OK, enough of my complaining, on to the goods. Night #3 of Morrissey's stand at the Apollo.

Pregame started early at about 5:30, when I met Molly, Anna and James for drinks at Guastavino's. We stayed there until 7:30 and then Molly and I headed uptown to Harlem for the main event. We stood outside the venue waiting for unofficial information leafblower correspondent Emily D. and her beau Paul who were running late as their Fung Wah bus from Boston was caught in traffic. This was major because they had our tickets. Just as I was starting to get worried, they appeared seemingly out of nowhere at about 8:30. Hugs and tickets were exchanged and we made our way into the venue. Emily and Paul had the Ticketbastard gods on their side during the on sale date as they ended up with 4th row tix while Molly and I were exiled to the lower mezzanine but it turned out our 5th row seats up there were actually pretty damn good.

Then, promptly at 9 PM, the lights dimmed and a recorded voice came over the speakers listing a bunch of things that are apparently no buneo. "Phony friends, AIDS, Adolf Hitler, tasteless a&r wankers", etc. After about 5 minutes of this, out strode the Mighty Mozzer and his band. He walked right up to the mic and said "Good evening! I am Jackie Wilson, this is the Apollo, and YOU ARE THE QUARRY!" the crowd went crazy and the band launched into:

The First Of The Gang To Die - fine version. Just like they played on The Late Late Show with Craiggers a year or so ago

Hairdresser On Fire - slower than usual, took away alot of the enrgy in the tune. Still, the cowd loved it. Changed the lyrics to When he said "I'm gonna screw you", well I felt quite jealous of you

** before next song he says: Despite massive discouragement, we finally released a new CD, it's called A FATE WORSE THAN LIFE

How Could Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel? new tune. It was OK, but not great

** To some random person in the audience: I suppose you're a smelly Osbournes fan. I love Kelly Osbourne. I do, really. No, I don't.

I Have Forgiven Jesus - this song sucked. I liked it better when it was called Speedway

** This an even newer song

Don't Make Fun of Daddy's Voice - Not so sure I like this one either.

Shoplifters of the World Unite - First time played on this tour and a complete surprise. The crowd went NUTS! Unfortunately, he has played this at each of the seven concerts of his that I have attended so I was less than enthused. My theory is that this is the only Smiths song that his new band can do justice to. The guitar parts aren't that intricate, so it sounds like a reasonable facsimilie of the original.

** Goes off stage to change his shirt..."Sorry about that, I have a really bad chest"

Subway Train [into...] Everyday Is Like Sunday - another crowd fave. He changed one of the choruses to "Everyday is like Thursday". At this point I'm not really loving the show. It's been good but by no means great.

Now My Heart is Full - Another new one for this tour. Another song I've heard him do seven times. But the crowd loved it.

** introduces the band
"Say hello to the Harlem Girls!"
"in the wings...Boz"
"and never in the wings...Gary"
"and the drummer with wings ... Dean-0"
"wings wings ... Alain"
"wings wings wings...Mikey."

Then Mikey starts a little keyboard riff that leads right into...

A Rush And A Push And The Land Is Ours - Wowzer. Now we're getting somewhere! This was a very rough and tumble version (almost nothing like the recorded original) but it was still nice to hear it. A bit sloppy but I just love the "EeeeeeaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhRush and a push..." part. I got goosebumps. I heart The Smiths even if Moz's new band can't hold a candle to them.

All The Lazy Dykes - None of the reviewers from the press liked this song, but I kinda dug it. It's a slow number but very catchy.

** Someone from the crowd hands Moz a letter before the next song. "Oh thank you. Is it interesting?" The person in the crowd apparently says NO. Moz responds "Then why give me something that isn't interesting?" and then stuffs the letter in his front pocket.

Such A Little Thing Makes Such A Big Difference - The second best part of the show, hands down, was when Moz pulled out said letter, showed it to the crowd and sang "...written words on paper / Can you write?" FUCKING BRILLIANT. I was enthralled.

**It's true...most people keep their brain between their legs. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Or maybe I'm just a slow learner. At least I admit it.

I Know It's Gonna Happen Someday - At this point i am freaking out because we are running out of songs and still no Jack The Ripper. I am seriously gonna fuck someone up if that song isn't played. But at least I got something from Your Arsenal and it was beautiful. The lights came up during the end of the song and Moz stood at the front of the stage with his back to the audience and hand on his head, just swaying to the music. Epic. Now I'm starting to feel like the show doesn't completely suck.

**We're ready for Shea Stadium tomorrow! It will be empty, but we'll be there.

No One Can Hold A Candle To You

Jack The Ripper Holy Fucking Shit! Finally!!They started it out with the drum beat instead of Alain's guitar riff, but when that kicked in, I went nuts. The keyboards made the first verse sound poppier than usual, but it got meaner as the song went along. The lights would come up whenever they got to the "Crash into my arms" part and it was amazing. Moz was really working the crowd at this point. Alain's high pitched, screechy guitar riff at the "I know a place..." part of the song and again coming out of the bridge was worth the price of admission alone. Greatest. Song. Ever. Just pure genius. This show offically rocks!

** Thank you for clapping

I'm Not Sorry - Easily the best of the new songs. Very much in the vein of Break Up The Family, has a drum loop in the background and Mikey plays bongos. Really groovy. This should totally be a single. The show is really picking up steam at this point.

** Someone in back didn't clap that time. I feel really hurt. Turns to some random audience member...I saw you on the Price Is Right

Irish Blood, English Heart - Amazing. Crowd goes wild. Boz and Alain just go to town. A rousing set closer.

** Thank you form coming tonight. I have a night job at Radio Shack that starts in 30 minutes so this will be our last song

encore:
There Is A Light That Never Goes Out - Again, wow. Never heard this one before. The crowd went fucking bananaz. I thought I saw Ultragrrl and a friend try and get to the front of the balcony and sit on the steps for the encore, but Apollo security was having none of that. Great version of this song. Then at the end, one by one, the band quits playing their instruments and leaves the stage until there is just Mikey playing the keyboard loop. Brilliant.

So overall, the show started slow put totally picked up steam at the end. No Headmaster Ritual but like I said earlier, If I got to hear Jack The Ripper you would hear no complaints from me, and you won't. Except one, according to this set list scan from last night, they were going to play Rubber Ring but didn't! Bastards! Save it for Saturday!

After the gig, we met up with some friends and wandered around Harlem looking for a place to knock a few back. We stumbled across the Lennox Lounge and it was AWESOME. They had some blues cover band playing that was just amazing. I drank multiple G & T's popped a Xanax and fucking enjoyed life. The band played a cover of "Purple Rain" and the whole bar was singing the "Woo Woo Woo Woo's" at the end. Fucking crazy. People were dancing and getting their groove on. It was intense. We left there at about 2:30 and finally made it back to the 718 around 4 AM.

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